IN THESE TIMES

In these times all Peace Keepers are under scruitny, stress, threat and demand more so than any other time in recent history.  Law enforcement is being attacked more often and more deadly than in any recent times of record keeping.  The military is being taxed to the limit of endurance and beyond as we try to carry on two active wars and be the keepers of peace in many places at the same time.

All of this translates to pressures that reach dangerous levels in the personal lives of Peace Keepers.  In the military it is coming from too many times in the sandbox... In law enforcement it is coming from demands that exceed the available personnel and it is also coming from too much demand financially that drives many officers of the law to work extra duty or extra jobs in order to provide for a family... or in some cases for a present family and a previous family.

What are the consequences of all of this demand to perform?  Fatigue (that goes beyond tiredness), headaches (headache is one of the most common symptoms of too much stress), on the job injuries, increased sensitivity to agitation, digestive problems (eating too much, not eating enough, excess acid, ulcers), increased efforts to self medicate (over the counter drugs and remedies, alcohol, tobacco, too much caffeine), less attention to the needs of significant others... whether our duties take us to home fields or abroad to foreign fields.

All of this sometimes leads the Peace Keeper to the condition of just functioning (going through the motions, just doing only that which has to be done, not being proactive). 

In addition, it can bring a significant other to the place where they also get over stressed and tired of always giving and seldom being on the receiving end of good attention.   This becomes the prelude to greater troubles and conflict... Then to bickering... Then to being always gone... Communication has died except for complaining and it has become more and more prevalent.  All of this precedes a condition of volatility... An explosion of emotions is imminent.  When we are the ones in this condition we seldom can recognize it ourselves.  It usually does not become evident until there is an ongoing unsolvable conflict.  Even if we are told of the condition and threat we usually will not admit to the need ourselves... And very seldom admit to the part we, personally, may be playing in relation to the conflict.

When we are stressed and overloaded we seldom are able to see it in ourselves and head it off.  We are seldom able to reverse the difficulty without receiving assistance...
Or at the very least receive training or be reminded of the training in Stress Management that we might have already received.

Marriages have died because of some or all of the preceding descriptions.  Great relational conflicts have happened because of some or all of the foregoing descriptions.  Families have been split apart and in some cases, children orphaned, because some or all of these symptoms were present and obvious to everyone involved but the primary cause was not known nor investigated in time to retrieve and restore strained lives and relationships.  Some people decide it is easier to part company than to go through all that it might take to repair the damage.  Sometimes the love just wears out and disappears.

It has been my goal to be available to people in these conditions for over 31 years.  I have seen marriages saved.  I have seen careers saved.  Sadly I must also report that I have seen damage that could not be repaired.

In my own life I was approached at one point to teach a course on stress overload and it's affects upon job performance.  I had all of the material on hand because I had been assembling the material for several years.  As I completed the research to formalize the lesson plan I discovered that I was in stress burnout.  As I read the symptoms I discovered that most of them applied to me at the time.  I had a choice... learn and adapt... ignore and pay the price... I chose to learn and adapt... But learning and adapting did not keep me from going through that same condition a second time and approaching it two more times.

Even as I write this message I am contending with stress management even more than I have had to do in several years.  Since I plugged a new, necessary job into my life and schedule I find that I basically only have time for that job and exercising, eating and sleeping on the days that I work the job...  The job and preparation for it takes a minimum of 12 hours out of each of four days... sometimes five days... And sometimes more hours... And leaves me very little time for my other tasks in life and my ministry profession.  I have tried for years to cram as much as I could into each day.  In most of these days I have learned to be careful to take care of me.  I learned that if I did not take care of me I would not take care of anything else for very long until I would fail to function.  I have to remind myself to apply those careful choices everyday now in order to continue functioning efficiently and effectively.

Peace Keepers, the demands of our lives can be a very difficult experience sometimes.  Some days take so much from us that it is all we can do to drag ourselves through a meal and then seek blessed rest.  Last night I slept 10 hours straight... That is twice as much as I usually sleep on any night.  Three of the four workdays this week kept me jumping from case to case much of the time on duty.  If not on a case I was tending to a need of some kind involving traffic or a motorist.

Involved in all of this is the need to do research or seek advice from supervisors about how to satisfactorily handle new challenges found within my duty area as well as responding to the needs of the officers that I work with in the precinct where I am assigned. 

In military and para-military organizations (such as law enforcement) we are under authority.  We are assigned to do certain types of work... We are responsible for certain types of assignments... We are under authority to which we must answer for our performance.... We must also advise and communicate with supervisors and co-workers.  We are even told what to wear and what type of equipment to use.  When we took on the responsibility for our duties we also took on the necessity to learn and comply with the rules of operation. 

Sometimes all of this causes conflict in our personal lives because very few people (even those in our families and our most intimate relations) ever realize the methods of operation and function of the jobs we took on and the oath that we swore to uphold.  I lost one close relationship partly because they could not understand why I did not just call in and not go to work because that was what they thought I should do but never conveyed that thought to me until over a year later.

In all of this working and living under stress we must remember that the one most vital thing that we must maintain in our lives is communications... Communicating with our families, spouses, significant others... Communicating with our co-workers on the field... Communicating with our immediate supervisors... And communicating well with those civilians with whom we must work as we do the many jobs we are called upon to do.  Communication means two or more people exchanging information and using feedback to make sure the information is being understood... Each talking and the other listening until the exchange is understood and can be implemented into life and duty.  Sometimes this involves questions... Sometimes we must say, "This is what I think you said.  Is that what you meant?"... and then allowing the time and exchanges necessary to gain clear understanding of the meaning and how to put it to use satisfactorily.

Being a Peace Keeper is no easy job!  All of our success depends upon communication and the understanding of that communication.  One of my readers, who is a firefighter,  recently sent me a response and added that sometimes we are just "pieces keepers"... Yes, sometimes that very well applies to where we are and what we have accomplished... Juggling all of the pieces and keeping them together is some days a full time endeavor!!!

If I were where you are at the moment I would look you in the eye, clasp your hand in a strong grip and give you my personal thanks and appreciation for all that you are and for all that you have done and are doing.  As much as I would like to do that it just is not possible today... So I will tell you that my Commander-In-Chief and I do so very deeply appreciate you and all of your efforts at keeping the peace at home and abroad.  We will be eternally grateful!

"BE CAREFUL OUT THERE!"  Constantly do you best to take care of you.  We need you to be successful where you are and to do that you must always be alert, watchful, suspicious and wary.  Take the very best of care of all facets of your life and please, do not neglect the spiritual part of you... You need that to be strong for you to be successful.

Call or write if I may be of any assistance... I will do my best to help.

As it has always been... So it still is...

"VICTORIOUS WARRIORS WIN FIRST...
AND THEN GO TO WAR,
WHILE DEFEATED WARRIORS GO TO WAR FIRST...
AND THEN SEEK TO WIN."  Sun tzu

ONLY LIVE PEACE KEEPERS SEE THE VICTORY!!!
THEY SEE IT ONLY BECAUSE OTHERS HAVE MADE THEIR ETERNAL
PAYMENTS OF SWEAT, BLOOD, TEARS AND LIFE FOR THAT VICTORY!

WITH THE DEEPEST OF APPRECIATION AND RESPECT...
BE BLESSED (A CONDITION TO BE ENVIED)...
BE SUCCESSFUL... BE SAFE...
[My injunction to be safe means doing all you know to do as you do your job... it means
doing the best you can with what you have where you are using all your faculties to get
the job done well and with good results conquering evil and keeping or restoring peace...
it does not mean to avoid duty and honor... it does not mean to cower or allow anything
to hinder you in the process of duty according to rules, law and ethics...  it means that if
the demand takes your earthly life you destroy as much evil as possible in the process. 
That is my definition of being safe... doing the best you can and leaving the rest to God
or whomever else is responsible... being best employed for the sake and protection of all
the things and people that we hold dear.]

I represent, write for... and give the credit to:
God the Father (my Commander-in-Chief),
Jesus Christ the Son (the Eternal Captain of my life) and
the Holy Spirit of God (my Eternal Teacher, Keeper and Guide).
In Christ I live... with Him and for you I serve...
And I rejoice that you are there whether you are Christian or not...
D. R. (Don) Staton, Chaplain to Peace Keepers, 
VIRGINIA STATE POLICE ALUMNI,
RETIRED Police Officer, Certified Police Instructor,
Community Services Officer
757-431-2190, chpln1@verizon.net
3709 Beacon Lane, Virginia Beach, VA 23452
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