LIFE...
can come at you fast and difficult sometimes.

About 0600 hours... a hallway deep within General Hospital... Assisting
in the moving of two fatalities to other facilities after a long night
of dealing with difficulties involving several generations of two
families...

A Security Guard commented on what a difficult night that we had just
experienced at the facility... It had definitely been a series of
crisis for the emergency department.  They had received the double
fatality case and also two victims of a shooting case wherein the

two victims were represented by opposing groups creating disturbances
in the facility and an the grounds outside... Plus the Friday night
load of medical cases.  In my usual manner I responded with, "It is
still a good night.  We survived the difficulties and we get to go
home.  Any night is a good night when you get to go home at the end of
your duty."  Most people do not comprehend upbeat people and I am one
of those who is accused of seeing good in places where it does not
exist.

Yesterday I had two death cases... One was an elderly person who died
unexpectedly and I was called to handle the needs of the family until
their clergy could respond.  The other was the case mentioned above...
Two beautiful teen girls were fatally injured when their vehicle was
struck from behind.  The jobs of myself and another chaplain were to
notify the two families of the deceased and accompany them to the
hospital for identification purposes. 


I had been asleep just 15 minutes when my pager sounded.  I responded
to the scene of the crash that was not far from my location, arriving
just after mid-night.  Another chaplain was called to assist with one
family while I assisted with the other.  I was the first to arrive so I
accompanied the police investigators to the nearest family.  The
situation became complicated immediately.  The person who was supposed
to be at the address was not living there anymore.  We expected to find
the father there... instead we found the mother who had major
difficulties immediately.  We managed to calm her and transported her
to the hospital.  The other team could not locate the other mother nor
father.  Time was consumed in trying to locate these parents while we
tried to locate the father in relation to the family that I was 

working with.   Time dragged on as we tried to console the one parent
that we did have with us.  It is the practice of our police department
to make all notifications in person if possible.  This is part of our
General Orders.


Eventually the father of the family I was assisting arrived at the
hospital and we went through his initial grief process.  The mother was
still deep in the grief process and would be until she left many hours
later.  The father went to pick up and bring to the hospital his other
two children... an older brother to the deceased and a younger sister. 
They arrived and we went through their initial grieving...

All of this process was spread over several hours... Then the father of
the other deceased
young woman arrived accompanied by the other chaplain and a police
investigator... and we went through the initial grieving process with
him while we kept close watch upon the other full family that was
already there.

After he was able to view his daughter and recover somewhat he located
the mother of the child and asked her to come to the hospital because
the daughter had been in an accident... and we attended to all those
present until the remainder of the family could get to the facility. 
When the rest of that family arrived we had some very difficult
experiences with them before we took them to view the deceased. 
Initially part of them wanted to go to view her... Part of them did
not... Plus we had to deal with some difficult responses and a medical
emergency.  This spread our resources very thin until some time later
the remainder requested to be taken to the holding area where all of
the rest of the families were located.  One family was five members of
two generations.  The other family was five members of three
generations.  At one time we had all ten persons in some stage of grief
and it appeared that no two were acting the same nor did it appear that
any two were at the same stage in the process.

It is difficult to comprehend how many police and hospital personnel
are involved in such an incident as this one... especially when it
involves much time and effort to locate and notify all those who must
be notified.  At the hospital alone we had two chaplains, four police
officers, several members of the hospital Trauma Team, two or more
Patient Advocates, ER Nurses, the Charge Nurse and probably some others
that I cannot remember in my current tired condition... Plus two police
supervisors, several officers and their cars used to block roads
running into the intersection, several crash team investigators and
firefighters and their vehicles used to block the main street at the
crash scene.

This call took more time to handle and complete than any other single call in my career.  I was called
just before mid-night and arrived back at my bed just prior to 0700
hours as dawn was breaking over our city...

Why do I choose to function in such situations as a Volunteer Police
Chaplain on call 24/7?... Because it is where I was trained to fit and
where I function at my best.  In the early days of my career I was
called upon to investigate cases like this one with either no help or
very little help from volunteer rescue and fire personnel.  Usually I
handled the case alone because there were so few of us on duty at any
one time...  At best usually only one for each duty station if that
many were available.  Often I had two counties alone... and sometimes
three counties... Especially on the late night shift.

In those days we had no training for handling death notifications.  I
learned my lessons by doing the notifications and making note of what
changes to make the next time.  I developed a training course on the
subject after I became a chaplain to help others know what to expect
and how to deal with it so that they not have to learn the hard way...
under fire.  My course on the subject was based upon the experiences of
many chaplains and police officers including my own experiences.

After awakening today I was advised by a message from a friend that one
of my friends from my teen years had died this morning at about 0600
hours.  She and her husband have been my friends most of my life.  For
a time I felt the emptiness of missing my own wife, Sue, and sent a
message of condolence to my friend.

In this week numerous officers have been shot and killed in our
country... some have been shot and injured... In Iraq the mass killings
have started again and several military personnel have been injured and
killed by IEDs.  To get some idea of the affects of these tragedies
take the experiences that I went through in the two cases assigned to
me on Friday... Then multiply the affectation of the people that I
dealt with times the numbers of deaths and injuries times the numbers
of people who were thrown into grief because of the tragic news and you
will get an idea of what it is like to work in these fields of human
tragedy and crisis.  The pain and suffering is incomprehensible... and
yet that is where those of us who are Peace Keepers, including the
military field units, emergency medical personnel, firefighters, police
officers and chaplains are trained and assigned to work.

The sister of one of the teens from this morning asked if I did this
all of the time... She could not believe that anyone would ever submit
to this kind of work... Much less to do it on a regular basis as their
assigned effort in this life.

I have no problem with comprehension of this because I have known and
worked with all of you for so very, very long.  I know the full demands
of the job of being a Peace Keeper... And I know all of you to some
degree... I know many of you to a great degree... And some of you are
my best friends.  While some of our duty is dull and boring... We all
see tragedy to some degree almost every day that we are on the field,
both at home and abroad.  Sometimes it falls to us to do the most
demanding of handling these crisis to which we are assigned.  Sometimes
we come through it unscathed... Sometimes we are lightly affected...
Sometimes it affects us negatively for a while... And some of it never
goes away.  I can still tell you every detail of some of my worst
assignments... and the pain of the emptiness left in you when a spouse
dies of your child dies.  Experience and life have prepared me well to
function well in the places where I must go. 

Why do I give to you the cautions that I put at the end of every
message of CC?  It is because I have lived it and the most difficult
thing for me to remember to do is to properly care for me after I have
experienced one of the draining, demanding cases.  Today before I got
around to the computer and writing this message I stopped and took some
time for me with some favorite comfort food... an omelet and some fresh
pizza plus a load of herbs and vitamins to restore my energy, strength
and physical peace....
Then I sat down to write to you.

I know the mechanics of how to help others in crisis... I know the
mechanics of how to minister to myself in and after crisis whether mine
or someone else' crisis... But the most difficult part is the
discipline to remember to take care of me.  I have learned all
of this the hardest of ways... by experiencing pain, weakness, physical
crisis of illness and burnout.  I have had to pray and learn what must
be done for me in order to continue to do what is assigned to me and
expected of me... So I voluntarily discipline myself to remind you to
take care of you.  Maybe I will reach some of you and you will not have
to learn the hard way.

I ask those of you who pray to pray for me.  By necessity I am looking
for a full or part-time job in order to supplement my income.  My
daughter's medical expenses have become so demanding that I must do
this in order to keep bills paid and be able to continue her
treatment.  This week I had a very strong, serious, pointed discussion
with a doctor that promised to assist her to get healed after the
previous surgeon threw up his hands and abandoned her.  The reason for
the strong discussion was because he had agreed to take her under his
care again as his patient and last Monday he reneged on his promise.

After our discussion he told me to bring her to him on Monday and he
would take her under his care and do what needed to be done.  He had
brought her to healing several times in the past when she suffered
similar situations.

Every time I handle another call with Peace Keepers my Respect for you
and my devotion to you are further strengthened and renewed.  Thank you
for the people that you are and for the jobs that you do.  My
Commander-In-Chief and I do very definitely understand what it costs
you to get the jobs done at home and abroad.  We send to you our
Eternal Thanks for who you are and for what you do!


PLEASE... PLEASE... PLEASE..."BE CAREFUL OUT THERE!"  Take the very
best of care of you as you care for others.  Be alert, watchful,
suspicious and wary.  See to the well being of your spirit being.  It
needs to be strong for you to succeed.


DO THE BEST THAT YOU CAN WITH WHAT YOU HAVE WHERE YOU ARE!!!

Call or write if I may be of any assistance to you.

As it has always been... So it still is...

"VICTORIOUS WARRIORS WIN FIRST...
AND THEN GO TO WAR,
WHILE DEFEATED WARRIORS GO TO WAR FIRST...
AND THEN SEEK TO WIN."  Sun tzu

ONLY LIVE PEACE KEEPERS SEE THE VICTORY!!!
THEY SEE IT ONLY BECAUSE OTHERS HAVE MADE THEIR ETERNAL
PAYMENTS OF SWEAT, BLOOD, TEARS AND LIFE FOR THAT VICTORY!

WITH THE DEEPEST OF APPRECIATION AND RESPECT...
BE BLESSED (A CONDITION TO BE ENVIED)...
BE SUCCESSFUL... BE SAFE...
[My injunction to be safe means doing all you know to do as you do your job... it means
doing the best you can with what you have where you are using all your faculties to get
the job done well and with good results conquering evil and keeping or restoring peace...
it does not mean to avoid duty and honor... it does not mean to cower or allow anything
to hinder you in the process of duty according to rules, law and ethics...  it means that if
the demand takes your earthly life you destroy as much evil as possible in the process. 
That is my definition of being safe... doing the best you can and leaving the rest to God
or whomever else is responsible... being best employed for the sake and protection of all
the things and people that we hold dear.]

I represent, write for... and give the credit to:
God the Father (my Commander-in-Chief),
Jesus Christ the Son (the Eternal Captain of my life) and
the Holy Spirit of God (my Eternal Teacher, Keeper and Guide).
In Christ I live... with Him and for you I serve...
And I rejoice that you are there whether you are Christian or not...
D. R. (Don) Staton, Chaplain to Peace Keepers, 
VIRGINIA STATE POLICE ALUMNI,
RETIRED Police Officer, Certified Police Instructor,
757-431-2190, chpln1@verizon.net
3709 Beacon Lane, Virginia Beach, VA 23452
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