HUMOR AND ENJOYMENT

Jokes from the internet...
 
"Don't mess with Seniors."
 
We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the "seniors' special" was
two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99.
"Sounds good," my wife said. "But I don't want the eggs."
Then I'll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine cents because
you're ordering a la carte," the waitress warned her.
"You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?" My wife asked
incredulously.
"YES!!"
"I'll take the special."
"How do you want your eggs?"  
"Raw and in the shell," my wife replied.  She took the two eggs home.

DON'T MESS WITH SENIORS.. WE'VE BEEN AROUND A LONG TIME!!
===================================================================
"SAFARI"

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking
her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company.

One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles
discovers that he's lost.. Wandering about, he notices a leopard
heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!" Noticing some
bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on
the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is
about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one
delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"

Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look
of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!",
says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby
tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for
protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees
him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that
something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard,
spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here,
monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving
canine!

Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back
and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the
dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen
them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle
says, "Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me
another leopard!

Moral of this story....

Don't mess with age and experience... age and learned tactics will
usually overcome youth and skill!  Bullcrap, brilliance and good
comebacks only come with age and experience.
=====================================================================
Five law enforcement officers died in the line of duty in the last
seven days of February...

Thirteen troops died in the past week in Iraq...

The local paper ran the story on "Little Birds" (small, nimble
helicopters) from Blackwater serving in Baghdad.  The author called
them entertaining "Rock Stars" and a letter to the editor was printed
castigating the editor for printing the story glorifying war...  Most
citizens do not know about war from the " in the field" point of view
and/or do not want to know or be reminded about war so there is often
that attitude displayed that says, "Don't remind me.  I do not want to
know."  The strange part is that if they were there on the battlefield
for any length of time they would understand the morale building value
of the aerial displays and the joy of a few moments of entertaining,
morale building diversion.

If Peace Keepers are going to survive, we MUST have a sense of humor...
and we MUST take the very best of care of ourselves... and receive joy
when we are given the opportunity.  We MUST recognize that Peace
Keepers live a life very different from all other citizens.  Danger,
injury and death are an ever present possibility.  While no one is
guaranteed life beyond the present moment,  for Peace Keepers it is
more of a reality than it is to most other citizens.  We MUST be aware
and we MUST practice being alert, watchful, suspicious and wary.  If we
do not practice this attitude diligently our next tour of duty may be
our last tour of duty.

Thank God for the Blackwater "Rock Stars".  Thank God for jokes and
laughter... If we cannot laugh we will eventually explode.  Laughter
and joy are good medicine to the heart and soul and we all need those
moments laughter and joy.

Ours is a world of often horrible sights, sounds, smells and danger. 
We must work with and tolerate things that would cause most people to
throw up their last three meals plus their toe nails... and we must do
the very best possible job while we work with these incidents.  Humor
and enjoyment make that possible for most of us...  Humor to let the
pressure off (a survival tactic) and the enjoyment of the job that we
do even when we must handle the worst kind of incidents and physical
details... And some of us love the job so much that we do it for no pay
at all... I am told that there are some of us who would even pay others
to let us do the job of peace keeping.

There are many of us who love the job so much that every person that is
significant in our lives feel like the job is the most important thing
in our lives to us.  They just do not understand that when we are
working it MUST be the most important thing in our lives or we may not
return from our tour of duty if we are not sharp, alert and intently
focused on what we are doing... And they do not realize that sometimes
it is very hard to turn it off and wind down to being human and normal
when we are with them.  Even with this attitude we can still make
mistakes that either cost us personally or allow something we are
trying to stop to continue.  I learned some hard lessons from my rookie
mistakes but I was able to survive and learn... and never made any of
those same mistakes again.

Just today I viewed a video of four police cars chasing a suspect that
was not  willing to stop and was creating problems for other
motorists.  The suspect drove into an intersection very slowly... with
the four police cars following in single file... He starts a "U" turn
but does not straighten up and keeps going around in a circle.  The
police cars follow him into and around the circular pattern with the
suspect following close behind the rear police car.  If the last three
police units had stopped in front of him and spread out he would have
had to stop and the pursuit would have been concluded sooner.  As it
was he decided to stop his circular pattern and went off down the
street with the police cars in pursuit.  Yes, I know it is hard to
always think about these things while they are happening but that is
just the reason why we must evaluate and learn from each experience to
see if we might have done something differently to get a better result
and be prepared for the next time that we might be able to use it.  We
MUST be alert, watchful, suspicious and wary.  That is how we get the
best results.

Sometimes it is not what you did that costs you... it is what you did
not do.  Sometimes it is not what you see or hear that costs you... It
is what you did not see... or what you did not hear that causes the
problem and the loss.  I know from personal experience that when fellow
Peace Keepers are not watching out for one another that one can get
into a very bad situation quickly... Then we have to rely on wits,
skill, grace and mercy to get ourselves out of it without suffering
great cost and loss.

In the sense of being alert, watchful, suspicious and wary, we are the
guides of our own destiny.  Any wrong action can be costly.  Anything
that you miss seeing can be costly.  Anything that you miss hearing...
or smelling... of feeling... can be costly.  Anything that you assume
without really knowing can be costly.  Taking chances that you do not
have to take can be costly.  Not following proper procedure can be
costly.  Ignoring danger signs can be costly.

Fellow Peace Keeper, in all of my years in this adversarial,
confrontational system of peace keeping I have experienced a lot more
than I really want to remember.  I have seen a lot more than I really
like to remember.  I have been into a lot of places that I really would
rather never remember... but it is all there just below the surface of
my consciousness...

and sometimes it gushes to the surface for my good... Sometimes it
gushes to the surface for your good... Or for the good of someone that
I am instructing and training.
Experience is a powerful, masterful teacher.  When it turns out well it
is really good.  When it turns out badly it can be really costly. 

Even as I am sitting here writing I am experiencing memories that are
pointedly pertinent to this message... Memories and experiences that
have shaken me so badly that knees got weak and would not support me
when it was all over... Experiences that have kept me alive and mostly
unscathed through all of this long career... But the point is that I
learned and adjusted so that I would become more alert, watchful,
suspicious and wary... So that I would be more effective and operate
from a more secure position and attitude.

One night I had a trainee with me and we were called to stop a fleeing
felon who had just stolen a car and was headed in our direction at a
high rate of speed being pursued by the local town police.  I chose a
location just beyond the brow of a rise where he could not see me until
he topped the rise... and I blocked the two lane road.

I said to the trainee that this was my plan and my action and if he did
not want to experience the danger then he could get out of and away
from the car and away from danger.  He chose to stay with me.  When the
fleeing felon saw us blocking the roadway, he steered into a ditch,
crashed the car and managed to elude the pursuing officers on foot into
a huge field.  He was apprehended the next day someplace else.  Would I
have intentionally blocked his path and caused a crash with my
vehicle... Yes... but I am very thankful that my aggressive action
caused the fleeing driver to choose another course than to have to
tangle with me personally.

As I am being flooded tonight with all of these memories I am being
made pointedly aware that each Peace Keeper has and is experiencing
dangerous kinds of activity in one way or another everywhere there is a
Peace Keeper on duty at home and on foreign fields.

There would be no life as we know it without you.  Life, Liberty and
the Pursuit of Happiness would still be only a dream without you.  My
Commander-In-Chief and I treasure all of you and each of you deeply. 
We are eternally grateful for your service.

"BE CAREFUL OUT THERE!"     Do all that you do as carefully and as well
as is possible.  Take the best of care of you.  Please give due care to
your spiritual welfare.  You need for it to be strong to help secure
your success.

Call or write if I may be of any assistance.

As it has always been... So it still is...


"VICTORIOUS WARRIORS WIN FIRST...
AND THEN GO TO WAR,
WHILE DEFEATED WARRIORS GO TO WAR FIRST...
AND THEN SEEK TO WIN." 
Sun tzu

ONLY LIVE PEACE KEEPERS SEE THE VICTORY!!!
THEY SEE IT ONLY BECAUSE OTHERS HAVE MADE THEIR ETERNAL
PAYMENTS OF SWEAT, BLOOD, TEARS AND LIFE FOR THAT VICTORY!


WITH THE DEEPEST OF APPRECIATION AND RESPECT...
BE BLESSED (A CONDITION TO BE ENVIED)...
BE SUCCESSFUL... BE SAFE...
[My injunction to be safe means doing all you know to do as you do your job... it means
doing the best you can with what you have where you are using all your faculties to get
the job done well and with good results conquering evil and keeping or restoring peace...
it does not mean to avoid duty and honor... it does not mean to cower or allow anything
to hinder you in the process of duty according to rules, law and ethics...  it means that if
the demand takes your earthly life you destroy as much evil as possible in the process. 
That is my definition of being safe... doing the best you can and leaving the rest to God
or whomever else is responsible... being best employed for the sake and protection of all
the things and people that we hold dear.]

I represent, write for... and give the credit to:
God the Father (my Commander-in-Chief),
Jesus Christ the Son (the Eternal Captain of my life) and
the Holy Spirit of God (my Eternal Teacher, Keeper and Guide).
In Christ I live... with Him and for you I serve...
And I rejoice that you are there whether you are Christian or not...
D. R. (Don) Staton, Chaplain to Peace Keepers, 
VIRGINIA STATE POLICE ALUMNI,
RETIRED Police Officer, Certified Police Instructor,

757-431-2190, chpln1@verizon.net
3709 Beacon Lane, Virginia Beach, VA 23452

=================================================
Copyright: CHAPLAIN CORNER (DRS) 2007. All rights reserved.
May not be duplicated without permission, except to be forwarded
with copyright and all source information for any quotation intact.
To subscribe to this free e-mail message for Peace Keepers, 
write to Chaplain D. R. Staton at chpln1@verizon.net or at 
3709 Beacon Lane, Virginia Beach, VA 23452.

If you are a Peace Keeper you may subscribe to 
the BLACKWATER TACTICAL NEWSLETTER  by going to the 
website at BLACKWATER USA.