the DASH-

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.0.1) - Cite This Source
dash - noun
13. the mark or sign (—) used to note an abrupt break or pause in a sentence or
hesitation in an utterance, to begin and end a parenthetic word, phrase, or clause,
to indicate the omission of letters or words, to divide a line, to substitute for
certain uses of the colon, and to separate any of various elements of a sentence
or series of sentences, as a question from its answer.

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.0.1)
Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.
(Italicised, bold emphasis mine to cover the proper definition of the use of the word
"dash" as far as this message is concerned.)


The following is from a reader:

"Don:
 
I hope you are well.  Another idea for you...
 
As I was sitting on the sofa with my eight (almost nine) year old son watching, of all things,
Walker Texas Ranger (cops and karate - how cool is that?), there was a cemetery scene
where a gravestone was shown.  My son commented on the years... and asked how old the
person had been when they died.  It made me think about the dash...
 
Garth Brooks has a song wherein some of the lyrics are:
 
There's two dates in time that they'll carve on your stone
And everyone knows what they mean
But what's more important is the time that is known
By that little dash there in between.
 
While many headstones ARE marked with dates of birth and death, few - if any - do justice to
"the time in between" and it's the most important time of all.  HOW we live is far more important
than how long... but it is often times the most easily forgotten...
 
Just a thought for you to ruminate on."

The first comments that I heard on this subject were given by a very close fellow
chaplain during the Celebration of Life for my wife, Sue, in January of 2002.  After
his comments I used well over an hour of time filling in the dash about Sue.  This is
my usual practice.  In addition to that I purchased a simple headstone to mark her
grave and her memory.  On her stone it states her name - the two pertinent years -
and the words, BELOVED WIFE, MOTHER AND SISTER accompanied by a Cross
and a kneeling Angel to display all the facets of  who she was and is to those of us
who survived her passing from this life.

I do full effort whenever I am requested to take part in the Celebration of Life for any
person.  I try and gain all information that I can from those people who had a close
relationship with the deceased... then I pray over it and arrange it into order to be
shared with those people who come to partake in the farewell to the departed
friend and family member.  I especially like to share real experiences in which the
person was involved... experiences that display the real, everyday side of the person
whose life we have come together to celebrate.

I do this so that the ceremony will have a pleasant and lasting effect upon those who
knew and loved the person whose life we are celebrating.  I have received many
comments from attendees who found much comfort, pleasure and even laughter
in the things shared about their friend and loved one.  If there is time and opportunity
I try to have the comments reviewed by one who was close to the deceased person.

The eulogy begins with the date of birth... and the length of the journey in this life...
then the closing date... followed by the family status... son or daughter.  Then comes
whether or not they were a brother or sister... or if there were close cousins.

The next stage is in relation to their family relationship, whether married to a
person or a profession... and if they were husband or wife... mother or father...

Accomplishments of life other than family must also be shared... Great passions
must be shared... religious experiences and beliefs may also be shared if the
deceased and their survivors are religious and wish for that information to be
shared... and funny times, by all means funny times must be shared.

The character and facets of personality should be included... the things to which
they were committed... their dedication to life, family, friends... and how they saw
the duties of daily life and profession...

When all of this activity is performed in a tasteful manner it imparts warmth and
comfort.  When warmth and comfort are accomplished, even the most hurting
mourner leaves with a deep satisfaction that grows and expands in future days to
instill comfort and displace the pain of loss and loneliness... or possibly causes
the seeking of greater comfort from a helping source.

All of this and so very, very much more is represented by that little dash - when it
is used in the space between the year of the beginning of life - and the year of the
ending of life - and it is up to the celebrant of the Celebration of Life, commonly
called a funeral in most places, to fill in what may and should be shared in relation
to the deceased person and the pertinent details of their life. 

Other pertinent protocols come to bear when the service is for the life of a Peace
Keeper.  Appropriate schedules and times must be worked out; order of the
service must be worked out for the wake if one is being held...  when there is no
wake there is usually a time of visitation set aside for the family to be present with
the remains of the deceased so that friends and acquaintances may visit and convey
their love and respect;  for the official service where all who wish to attend may come
and participate or pay their respects and greet the family; and an interment service
which may be public or private.  All of these details must be gained by the celebrant
and then coordinated for the benefit and welfare of all persons to be involved. 

When the service involves several speakers then one person must become the
master of the ceremony so that all wishes are accomplished decently and in order.
Sometimes it takes several days to accomplish the necessary gathering of
information and details and then arrange the program so that all speakers, services
and details are provided for.  Services can be anything from small and informal to
extremely complicated and formal... and services may need to be provided in more
than one geographical location.  It is the duty of the chaplain to make sure that the
welfare and comfort of all close family members are provided for when the chaplain
is present... even to the possibility of needing a chair to sit upon when meeting
visitors at the wake or visitation service... and the chaplain should be present at all
planned services and ascertain if any close family members have special needs
that must be met.

All of this and so very, very much more is compacted into that  - (dash) between birth
and death.  That - may cover a few moments of life for an infant - or cover a century -
or any amount of time in-between those extremes.  If it is to be done to the greatest
benefit of all who are concerned, the celebrant and the master of ceremonies must
put in a lot of time, effort and planning and/or communicate with others who are
making plans so that all desired services are provided for, coordinated and
accomplished. 

When this Celebration of Life is for a member of the military, law enforcement or a
governmental dignitary, then even more complications with coordination arise. 
There may be need for an Honor Guard continuously - a need for a Color Guard,
Bugler and/or a Piper.  There may be a need for special arrangements for special
escorts for family to and from the services. There may even be a need for more than
one flag for presentation to family members.  Often after all of this is accomplished
there is a reception where attendees may share food, condolences and fellowship
with the family and loved ones of the deceased.

The dash says so very, very much, whether for a short life or for a long life and it is
so vastly important that the  -  be well covered in the services and celebrations held
in honor of the deceased.

As a chaplain it is my duty to see that this is all accomplished to the very best of my
ability when I am allowed... First because that is my assignment from my
Commander-in-Chief... next because I love all of you as though you were my own
children... and because it is the greatest love and respect that I can give to you and
your loved ones when there is much need to minister to pain, emotion, loss and
loneliness.  This is my duty and I take this duty very, very seriously.  I wish that this
duty were never needed... but when it is needed I do it to the absolute best of my
ability because of my love and respect for my Commander-in-Chief... because of my
love and respect for you... and because of my love, care, concern and respect for
your loved ones.

You have been prayed for today that all of your needs be met and that you be even
greater blessed.  May your dash be filled with a legacy of power, love and
encouragement for those who know and hear the details of it... from this moment on
and for as long as you live in this life.

I have just come through one of those times in my personal life that could be termed
a - (dash) - and have survived successfully.  My Commander-in-Chief honored my
prayer requests and the episode was accomplished three days short of the
scheduled time that would normally be required.  I give much thanks for His
faithfulness to me in these difficult times like the one through which I have just come.
Were it not for His faithfulness I could not be here for you nor anyone else.  Thanks
be TO HIM.

I am very, very thankful for you and your service to all the rest of us. 

My Commander-in-Chief and I are eternally grateful to you.  May you be even
greater blessed for the services that you have given and for the services that you
who are still active continue to give.  None of us could be who we are without you.

My only desire in relation to the dash between my coming into this life and the time
of my departure is that it might sincerely be said of me, "He came, he saw, he
learned what he could and did the best that he could with what he learned to further
the lives and well being of all to whom he had opportunity to give service so that
others might come to intimately know the Creator that he called
Commander-in-Chief."

"BE VERY, VERY CAREFUL OUT THERE!!!"  Be alert, watchful, suspicious and
wary.  Take the very best of care of you... while you do your duty and when you are
off duty... See to all facets of your life with full vigor and do not neglect the spiritual
facet of you.  It needs to be strong to secure your success.

If I may be of any assistance to you please contact me and I will do my best.

As it has always been... So it still is...


"VICTORIOUS WARRIORS WIN FIRST...
AND THEN GO TO WAR,
WHILE DEFEATED WARRIORS GO TO WAR FIRST...
AND THEN SEEK TO WIN."  Sun tzu

ONLY LIVE PEACE KEEPERS SEE THE VICTORY!!!
THEY SEE IT ONLY BECAUSE OTHERS HAVE MADE THEIR ETERNAL
PAYMENTS OF SWEAT, BLOOD, TEARS AND LIFE FOR THAT VICTORY!

WITH THE DEEPEST OF APPRECIATION AND RESPECT...
BE BLESSED (A CONDITION TO BE ENVIED)...
BE SUCCESSFUL... BE SAFE...
[My injunction to be safe means doing all you know to do as you do your job... it means
doing the best you can with what you have where you are using all your faculties to get
the job done well and with good results conquering evil and keeping or restoring peace...
it does not mean to avoid duty and honor... it does not mean to cower or allow anything
to hinder you in the process of duty according to rules, law and ethics...  it means that if
the demand takes your earthly life you destroy as much evil as possible in the process. 
That is my definition of being safe... doing the best you can and leaving the rest to God
or whomever else is responsible... being best employed for the sake and protection of all
the things and people that we hold dear.]

I represent, write for... and give the credit to:
God the Father (my Commander-in-Chief),
Jesus Christ the Son (the Eternal Captain of my life) and
the Holy Spirit of God (my Eternal Teacher, Keeper and Guide).
In Christ I live... with Him and for you I serve...
D. R. (Don) Staton, Chaplain to Peace Keepers, 
VIRGINIA STATE POLICE ALUMNI,
RETIRED Police Officer, Certified Police Instructor,
757-431-2190, chpln1@verizon.net
3709 Beacon Lane, Virginia Beach, VA 23452
=================================================
Copyright: CHAPLAIN CORNER (DRS) 2006. All rights reserved.
May not be duplicated without permission, except to be forwarded
with copyright and all source information for any quotation intact.

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